


alone

by progfox



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, good end but not the true end, i guess it's happy anyway?, they solved the mystery and saved the day but thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6573826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/progfox/pseuds/progfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yu faces himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	alone

**Author's Note:**

> i finally join persona 4 hell with a Totally Radical And Unique Idea™. it's probably pretty rough around the edges characterization-wise but oh well
> 
> probably won't be the last time i write about this either because i didn't get all my ideas out there and i'm not 100% satisfied

And when Yu falls to his knees and sees his Shadow for the first time it's like, hell, this wasn't supposed to happen. Apparently having awoken his Persona didn't mean he wouldn't have a Shadow because there it is, its yellow eyes narrowed and a smug grin on its face. It'll be easy enough to get rid of; Yu has no vices, no secrets. He'll freely admit to whatever this bastard has to say.

The Shadow throws its head back and laughs, fucking _laughs_ , as if it knows what he's thinking. It probably does.

"No one's here," it says, "and no one's coming."

Yu ignores it.

"But that's about what we expected, right?"

Still he says nothing. He will not give this beast the satisfaction. The words don't rattle him much; he knows it's not true. He knows it. He's almost positive his friends will come for him. Save him from his bleak, empty world. He's, like, eighty percent sure of it.

"Everyone leaves eventually. What makes you think these guys will be any different?" His Shadow takes a step forward.

They'll be here no matter what, because they can't just let someone die. It doesn't matter if they care or no--

He cannot let that thought cross his mind. They wouldn't just abandon him. Not like his parents, not like every friend before them.

"Look at me!" A familiar hand grips Yu's chin and forces his head up and forward. He finds his own face staring right at him, but its smile is twisted, crooked, and its eyes gleam with something he can't identify but is sure he's never felt before. A Shadow's face is wicked - evil, even - and it's frightening to see that expression on himself. He's looking in a mirror, but the reflection's all wrong.

Yu hears footsteps in the distance, footsteps that quickly grow closer and closer. The Shadow shoves him down and the back of his head smacks against the floor. He pushes himself up and groans, rubbing his head. Shit, he's definitely gonna feel that one tomorrow.

"What a pleasant surprise!" It stands and turns with a flourish. "It's my dear, dear friends!" There's a scornful edge to its voice when it acknowledges its "friends," the people rushing though the door to save the day once again.

"Yu!" Yosuke is the first to say his name, and soon Chie and Yukiko follow.

"Senpai!" Kanji calls out. "You okay?"

"What a stupid question," Yu's Shadow says before he can answer. "But I guess I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

Maybe it's because he's hearing insults from a voice that's usually so kind, but for a second Kanji seems too shocked to react. He doesn't have time to react, though, as the Shadow is quick to change the subject.

"Anyway, we were afraid you wouldn't show up!" It turns to face Yu. "Isn't that right, _partner?_ "

Yu doesn't answer.

"You'll have to 'fess up eventually." It shrugs. It turns to face its audience again. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm still here."

No one says a word; no one needs to. The Shadow knows this.

"I'm just so _tired,_ " it says, clasping its hands and turning to back to Yu, "of being everyone's hero!"

Yu flinches, almost - he stops himself part way through and it looks more like a twitch than anything else - but he doesn't deny it. He knows better. It's not like that, he wants to say, but even if he could how would he explain?

"Why won't anyone save me for once?" His Shadow bursts into loud, fake tears. "Is it because I'm not worth it? Is it because no one cares after all?"

Everyone watching shifts uncomfortably on their feet.

"That's not true," Yukiko says softly. "We care about you very much."

"You _know_ that's not true!" Rise stomps her foot. "Senpai, I love you, remember?"

"Because I saved your lives." Now the Shadow's grinning and Yu can't quite seem to catch his breath because, damn, its pouring his heart out with that disgusting smile and too many teeth and it almost makes him sick.

Yosuke tries to run up to Yu, but the Shadow shoves him down.

"Back off, partner!" And it just won't stop fucking _grinning_. "As I was saying..."

Yosuke pushes himself back onto his feet.

"Everyone loves a hero, right? Everyone loves the good guy. He helps everyone work through their 'issues--'" and when it makes air quotes here Yu has to wonder, have its fingers always been so sharp? "--without expecting anything in return. He's smart and he always knows what to do."

It's twisting his words, of course, and everybody knows it, but he's afraid. Terrified, even, that everyone will turn tail and run, because he's not the selfless person they thought he was. Because he's not the selfless person he thought he was.

"I never had an ulterior motive." When Yu finally speaks, it's in a voice just barely louder than a whisper, and he's saying all the wrong things.

"What was that?" His Shadow puts its hand up to its ear, smile still plastered on its face.

"I really want to help!" he shouts. "It's not just because...it's not to get anyone to like me."

"What the hell's he doing?" Kanji's voice is a sharp whisper, but still loud enough for Yu to hear.

"Really, now." The Shadow taps its fingers together. Its expression has changed to something scornful, mocking, but it keeps on smiling. "You're a saint."

"I never said that." Yu glances away from his friends and his Shadow. "I meant--"

"I know what you meant," it says, walking up to him. "You _meant_ to say that I'm exaggerating. Am I really, though?"

This time Yu doesn't argue. It's so tiring just to breathe the same air as his Shadow (do Shadows breathe?), let alone talk to it. He wants to lay down, close his eyes and hope that when he opens them he's home where he belongs.

"I've been alone for years." His Shadow changes the subject abruptly; he's relieved, to be honest. "I'd rather _die_ than be forgotten again. I'd rather we all got swallowed up by the fog and turned into Shadows!" It taps its chin. "Y'know, maybe I should've just let it happen."

"What are you saying?!" Chie shouts. "That's stupid!"

"Is it, though? I think maybe Adachi had a point."

"You don't _really_ agree with that bastard, do you?" Yosuke looks straight at Yu when he asks this. "I mean...there's no way you really think that's true."

Everything is silent for a moment as Yu gathers his thoughts and his courage. He's never had to put this into words before.

"It's true." He stands up quickly, too quickly - his vision darkens and he's lightheaded for a moment. "It's true that I'd...be happy with anything...if it meant you guys would stay by my side." He's surprised his voice doesn't waver. He glares into his Shadow's eyes. Its pupils - little slits, now, Yu could've sworn they were normal last time he saw them - widen slightly. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

It's quiet, still, but the silence isn't oppressive anymore. He looks at his friends, draws strength from their soft smiles, then looks back at the Shadow again.

"No one was ever there for me...but they were." Yu gestures toward the Investigation Team. "When we thought Nanako was dead." The word "dead" catches in his throat and he nearly chokes on it. "And now."

He closes his eyes and smiles.

"You're me," he says, "and I'm you."

"And you think that's enough?" His Shadow sneers. "They still need to fight me first. None of you are getting out of here until they save you."

"They already have."

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't fit a proper explanation in the fic but if you're wondering what was up with yu's shadow: his perception of it was warping as it continued talking. i had an explanation for this but i didn't write it down so now i don't remember


End file.
